Early Christmas Present!!!

Dane's been working on it for the past couple weeks, but today he started crawling!!! Another HUGE milestone for this little guy who has over come so much! He just amazes us everyday! We have nick named him Curious George because he is into EVERYTHING that he can get his hands on! From fingers in the light socket to pulling on the Christmas tree...and we couldn't be happier! He has also started clapping his hands, it's too cute. When I learn to upload video I will get him in action, until then enjoy these new pictures of our little miracle!

Cute picture Alert!

Isn't he handsome in his hippo bath towel...courtesy of Aunt Julie!!!

Cousins

Yesterday we decided to get out of the house TOGETHER...what a concept, huh? So, we walked down to the park by our house, loaded with blankets and munchies! Dan, Kelly and the girls joined us for some well needed time together. Since Dane has been born we haven't been able to hang out like we used to, so during RSV season we will have to take full advantage of good weather days at the park. It was great to see Mallary, she is already smiling which is about the cutest thing in the world...I don't care if you have a normal full term baby or a preemie with potential disabilities, there is a small boulder lifted off your shoulders when you get the first smile from your little one. I remember when we got our first smile from Dane, I was so thankful for an answered prayer, my continous prayer was that he would have the ability to love us back and that first "real" smile was like a big ol pat on the back from God reminding me that he was still in control. I was glad to get to celebrate in Mallary's smiling chubby face!

Our sermon in church yesterday was about complaining...after really thinking about how much complaining that I do I realized that I am a big complainer of little things that I really have no control over, most of the things that I complain about are the minor things in my life. When it comes to the big things I tend to see my glass as half full, quick to give thanks for the good that I know will come out of the situation at hand. But, boy oh boy, do I need to work on not complaining about the little things. Pastor Trev said "complaining stops our becoming who God wants us to be." Another subtle thump on the head I needed from God, reminding me to be joyful in all situations...no more WINE with my cheese...heck I would rather have a beer anyway!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I think that Dane enjoyed his first Thanksgiving, though hopefully this Thanksgiving will not resemble Thanksgivings in the future! Hopefully next year we will be with all of our family where he can play with his cousins, aunts, uncles, and of course Grandma and PapPap! His lungs will be healthy and strong enough to handle a flu bug. Until then we spent today playing games and eating, avoiding "large crowds and small children", you guessed it at home! Since this is one of the few occasions that I knew that all five of us would be home together with out interuption...I forced the gang to head down the street to the park for some family photos. Gage complained the most...he used to be the one that LOVED to get his picture taken but he will be 17 in 6 weeks and the time of me forcing family photo shoots are coming to end...and too quickly for my liking! Anyway, Dane for the most part was more facinated with everything but the camera, we did manage to get some decent pics. We have a had a day full of laughter none the less...we all laughed so hard we cried during dinner, but that is a story that you had to be there to appreciate so I will spare you the details...just know it included 3 of us spitting food on our plate.

I have given the kids an assignment to make a list of the top 10 things they are thankful for, it should be interesting what they come up with this year. I remember when they were both little and you would get a turkey of their hand print sent home with the fingers/feathers filled in with all that they were thankful for, the lists were always sweet and simple...you know, Mom and Dad, house, food, water, and God were pretty much always the list. We will see if those will still round out the top 10!

So much to be thankful for this year, I'll spare you my list because it's a doozey!

Got Kleenex?

My sweet Aunt Terry forwarded me this the other day. She warned me that I would need tissues before I opened...boy that was an UNDERSTATEMENT! I started watching it the other day when I realized that I needed to continue watching on a non make-up day! So, this morning I sat down to watch the entire video (it's about six minutes long) and was in awe of what a wonderful job this father did of telling this heart breaking yet miraculous story. It was worth every tear...after watching the story, please come back so I can share a quote from the father of Eliot.


http://www.ignitermedia.com/products/iv/singles/570/99-Balloons


After watching the video I clicked on to Eliots blog page. I was inspired and wanted to share this entry. Eliot's father, Matt Mooney wrote:

"Ginny and I were recently reminiscing how we looked forward to checking comments when Eliot was here. It was amazing to see folks flock to the site and check in on a boy that most of them had never actually met. He had that way with people. We quickly learned that this whole thing was beyond us. A story was unfolding and we got to take part.Some of our favorite e-mails came from those who noted that they were not “religious” or told us how they “were not sure they fit in this group”; but they went on to tell how Eliot had taught them something or just brought a smile to their face. Some even elicited how they could not believe they were reading a blog that was written by a Christian living in the South. But all were drawn in some way to something. Eugene Peterson says it this way:“Everytime someone tells a story well, the gospel is served” All we have done is tell a story. The story of our son. And, oh, what a story it is. I have purposely made strides to downplay the God-card. This was simply because all I could do was get in the way with my feeble attempts. God was in the story. He did not need to be exposed. If you have found yourself drawn to this story and not really knowing why, I humbly propose that my son is only a vehicle to proclaim a story greater than his own. There is someone who loves you with a love larger than ours for Eliot. There is one who takes you with all of your flaws and delights in all that you are. He sings over you when you sleep and hems you in while awake. He destroys the worth-measures of man and pronounces you worthy. He is Jesus. He is the only way we have made it thus far and our only hope for tomorrow. Thank you, Matt & Ginny Mooney"

We too know that God has used Dane's story to reach people, I will never forget right after Dane was born my friend Beth telling me that people are talking to God...praying for Dane...people that haven't talked to God in a very long time if not ever. Right there I knew what ever heart ache that we were going to endure was going to bring glory to God. I totally underestimated how Jesus would reveal himself through Dane's story...but then I realized that Christ's hand is in ALL of our stories, we just need to take the time to share our stories and He will get the glory. Like Matt Mooney said..."God was in the story, He did not need to be exposed".

Happy 6 months! (adjusted age that is!)

Dane turned 6 months old, well if he were born when he was supposed to be that is! We had his nine month check up last week and he weighs 19.5lbs! He is in the 25th percentile for weight and 50th percentile for height...and that is for his actual age!!! So basically he has more than caught up to his peers in size! Developmentally he is 6 months, give or take a couple weeks. We are working on getting him up on all fours, which he will tolerate for a while then he kicks back out of it. We are also working on positioning him in ways to NOT let him arch his back...which is something that he has recently started and it's not a good thing. He has also learned that he can fight his positioning during physical therapy, his last session he spent crying and fussing. It's going to be an uphill battle and he is going to need to continue to be a little fighter, so I guess all that fussing is a good thing. I have to say that it breaks my heart to see him so miserable during therapy, but the fact of the matter is that I know that it is the best for him and I am soooo thankful that we have been able to have him in early intervention so early. He has cut his two bottom teeth and I think that he is working on his top two, he has been a bit grouchy so I am blaming it on his teeth...it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that he just may be a tad bit spoiled. ;)

Dane also had his first RSV shot, which he will be getting every 29 days until the end of March. We have met our deduct able for this year, but starting in January we will have to pay the co pay for the shots...and our co pay PER shot is going to be $463.00! Fun huh? Right after Christmas and Gage's birthday. I was freaking out a bit, because we don't have an extra $463.00 per month in our budget...but somehow God ALWAYS provides, do you ever have those months where you look at your budget on paper and you are absolutely mind boggled over how in the world you are making it? Well this entire year has been like that, and here I sit, another month with all the bills paid! God is good!

NOT so photogenic!

Sorry it has been so long since I have blogged, I really have been trying to get some cute pictures...but our little bugger has figured out when the flash is coming resulting in many many pictures that look like this:

TOO FUNNY!

Happy Halloween...a day late!

"what do you mean no candy for me?"

We finally got to put Dane in his Halloween outfit at around 6:00pm, it was too hot to have him in long sleeves during the day...go figure, the high was 85 yesterday!

Mom and Dad came over for dinner, Gage had to work, Katie dressed up as a Starbuck's barista and handed out candy (too cute, huh?)...then we ran out of at 7:30pm!!! I felt bad, we have never run out of candy before. I don't know if we had more trick or treaters than usual (I am usually out with the kids trick or treating so I have no idea what the usual amount is) or if Katie was handing out more candy than normal! Anyway, we had a nice quiet night.

I cherish the nights when we are all home together, if Gage isn't working he is out and about. Let's see, Monday night he went to YoungLife, Tuesday was youth group, Wed he worked, tonight he is going to worship band practice...yes, he is becoming a typical teenager! He will be 17 in two months, he graduates from high school next year...where did the time go?

The big evaluation!

Well today Dane had his first evaluation by the PCH physical and behavior therapist. I have to say that I was bit worried, I have read some stories that had me thinking they were going to point out everything that he is not doing and that the entire thing might just be a big downer. I am glad to say that it was a great experience, the lady was so nice and you can tell she really knew her stuff. Basically, she said that he is right on target for his adjusted age, he is one week behind in his gross motor skills...but a little bit ahead on everything else. She did notice right away that Dane has some muscle tightness in his hips and trunk, so we have homework in the way of some new exercises and positioning. Miss M, Dane's PT, was nice enough to be there for his appointment (thank you Miss M!!!) it was great to have her there, and we are eager to get working on his new homework! He was such a good boy too, he played well with her but, didn't flash her too many of those big Dane smiles! He was pleasant and attentive, and she used the phrase "bright eyed". She said that for a 26 weeker with grade IV bleed, he is doing amazingly well...she was overall very encouraging. We talked a little bit about the possibility of the diagnosis of cerebral palsy coming down the line, but she seemed to feel that he wasn't looking like he was heading in that direction, but we will know more at his next appt. (which will be in another 3 or 4 months) It was good for my soul to hear that today, the past week I have been a bit weepy. I did get scolded on the exersaucer...which I knew was coming. She said even 15 minutes a day was way too much for him. So, we will pack up the exersaucer...it was fun while it lasted!

SOOO many prayers have been said for Dane, God could have said "no" to our prayers...and we would have still praised Him, but He said "yes" and we give Him all the glory and praise!

Yes, we have hit a very big UP on our roller coaster ride! GO LITTLE D!!!

(I took this picture with our camcorder...sorry it's so grainy)

Rocking and worrying

Now that Dane is more stable when sitting, he has started rocking himself back and forth. He freaked me out pretty good when he started doing it. I know that rocking can be an early sign of autism, but I have to stay positive and pray that he is just exploring his new found ability to sit and move his trunk. Yet another balance I need to find of being realistic to what Danes future could be, yet not getting discouraged and reliving the moment that we found out he had a grade IV bleed every time he does something that doesn't seem "normal"...it's the balance of knowing that Dane may have disabilities mild or severe and my spiritual knowledge that God is in control and has chose our family to be blessed with this tiny guy that has already beaten the odds. So here I am again, after a day of useless worrying, I gave this issue back to God and that is where I found peace. God constantly reminds me that he is in control, my job is to love Dane & teach him to love God and others...it's that simple, rocking or no rocking, cerebral palsy or no cerebral palsy, autism or no autism...etc. It's just that simple.

Thank you Lord for reminding me of this in your awesome loving way.

I know, I know...

It's been a while since I have posted...I was off of work for two weeks, busy with ortho and dental appointments for Gage and katie, and I was really sick for about five days of my time off. Well, Dane turned 5 months (adjusted age) on Oct. 15th. He is doing great, he can sit unsupported for about 30 seconds...sometimes longer. He is using his hands a lot more and seems to have much better control of them. His right hand is still a little tighter than the left, when he grabs for stuff with his right hand it's hard for him to completely straighten his fingers...BUT he is using his right hand and that is great! If he has something under his belly, he will get up on all fours and rock...but it is not very often. He just doesn't seem to interested in crawling or scooting, but we continue to encourage him during tummy time.

We took some pictures this morning with his early intervention therapist, she had him sit and bounce on the ball to work on strengthening his trunk. He was looking handsome in his outfit that was bought buy Aunt Sally and cousin Julie, I put his matching hat on and this was the response I got! I took the hat off and he immediately gave me a big smile! (I thought the hat was cute, but I suppose that is a Mom thing.)

More new milestones!

Dane has started to make a new noise, we call it a zurber...but I know our family has some "unique" sayings. You may call it a rasberry sound ...anyway he is also making a kissy noise, I tried to snap the picture while he was doing it. This is another thing that may not seem like a big deal, but for Dane it's another milestone that we didn't know when or if he would make! Yet another celebration for our family as our little man did a zurber and a kissy face!

Two big milestone were reached this week, except this time the milestones were for Chad and I...First, Dane had his first sleep over at Grandma'a and PapPap's house! I can't believe how at ease I was, I really wasn't worried at all. He did great, slept all night and was generally his happy self! We went to an improve show with Brian and Stacey, it was just like the show "who's line is it anyway?", we laughed so hard! I can't wait to go back with a big group of people, it was a totally kid friendly act so we are looking forward to bringing Gage and Katie. It was great to get out, we haven't done anything since Dane came home from the hospital. The other milestone was letting Gage get his license! He is officially driving and unlike Dane having a sleep over, I am NOT totally at ease with this! Poor kid has to call me when gets to work, when he leaves work, and there is a chance I may call him during his drive to work! I know I am a nut, but it's been tougher than I thought to let my big boy drive by himself, at the same time I am ever so thankful that he is able to get his license, have a job and be independent...one of the many things since I had Dane that I never thought twice about.

It's a big no no!

But I did it anyway! For those of you who don't have a pediatric physical therapist in your life you may not know that exer-saucers are highly frowned upon. Exer-saucers have the potential to encourage toe walking, muscle tone issues, hip problems...and more. We have been advised to not let Dane use one, because of his high risk for problems. So, we had been good and not even opened the exer-saucer that was so generously bought at his baby shower. But as Dane gets older and gets so excited for new things...we just couldn't resist letting him play with it! He absolutely had a blast, it was encouraging to see him grabbing at the toys and using hands so well. We only let him sit in it for 15 minutes, and based on what we see with Dane so far...my Mommy gut is telling me that 15 minutes once a day isn't going to hurt!

What do you think?

I am no mind reader, but I am quite sure that he was saying, "get that camera out of my face!"

This picture made me feel a little bit like the paparazzi! Maybe I need to give this child a break from the big flash of the camera!

Katie and Dane hanging out together!

So, Dane's new thing is grabbing his feet...when he is on his back! This is another thing that to most of you may not seem like a big deal, but for us it is a very big deal! It means that his stomach muscles are getting nice and strong, as well as the fact that he is figuring out that if he pulls his legs up he can get to those sweet little piggies. Everytime we see him figuring out something new, we are so thankful because it means that he is making all kinds of new connections in his brain.

We had a busy Saturday, I worked then we went to my Dad & Brothers Bday party, then straight home for UFC fight night. We had a great time and Dane did well until everyone started yelling during a fight...which completely freaked him out. So, that will be the last time we have UFC at our house for a while or at least until RSV is over next spring.

How could you...

NOT ZURBER THOSE PIGGIES!!!

Sorry, I just love his little feet!!!

Pooped out

(Well...Daddy reads when he has to go poop, so we thought we would give it a try! Sorry too much info!???!)

We have spent the past couple of days trying to get our little guy to poop...and after two servings of prunes, lots of applesauce, and a good book we are all pooped out...literally! Thank goodness, he seemed to be in a lot of pain and would start to cry and squeez whatever was in reach...and let me tell you he has quite a grip! We are very spoiled with his laid back character, if he is fussy it's because he's hungry, tired, or poopy (or lack of poopy). Hopefully tomorrow he will be back to his normal easy going self!

We are working on strengthening his "core"...I know, sounds like Pilate's, but that's what we are working on for his trunk control so he can learn to sit up. He is doing a lot better with his hands and is grabbing at toys with both of his hands, though he favors his left more. His right side of his neck is still a little tight, so we continue to work on stretches and have to keep using his "zacky hand" when he is in his car seat or his bouncy chair because if we didn't have something next to his head...he would constantly have a head tilt. But overall he continues to keep chugging alone and amazes us everyday! I am so thankful for all the little things that I don't even think that I ever took time to notice with my other kiddos. Little, things like using his hands to try to put things in his mouth...I don't think that I ever thought twice about any developmental milestone with Gage or Katie, probably a good thing. If I knew then what I know now, I am sure that I would have thought that they both were going to have Cerebral Palsy or some other problem! But, on the good side...I don't take ANYTHING this child does for any less then a miracle...and what a blessing to witness a miracle everyday!

Holding hands...

I was emailing one of my sweet friends at work with some updated pictures of Dane, and I came across this little gem of a picture that Chad snapped with his phone just a week after Dane was born. " Wow", I thought...I stopped and took some time to look at this incredible picture. I remember at the time thinking how cool this picture was, the fact that Dane's entire hand was the size of Chads thumb nail... now I really appreciate this picture more than I can express in a blog. Now that Dane is home and is doing so well, it just takes a picture to really put things in perspective. I follow some other preemies on their own incredible journeys and all that I have read and seen keeps me constantly in awe of the handy work of God.

After countless attempts...it finally happened!

So, Daddy was the first one to get Dane to actually laugh! It was the cutest, sweetest, most precious, amazing (you get the picture) sound in the world! Of course I had the camera at arms distance so I snapped some photos of yet another milestone that this little man has hit! Hopefully we will not have to hold him like this every time we want to hear him laugh...at almost 17 lbs it may get old!

Dane had his first eye exam outside of the NICU, for those of you who aren't in the preemie world...even if preemies dodge the ROP bullet, they are still at extreme risk for having crossed eyes, near sightedness and lazy eye. We went to the doc yesterday and she said that his eyes look great and we don't have to go back for another year! Wow, another doctor crossed of the list! (until next year that is)

Just Peachy!

Well after a weekend of feeling achy, feverish, and generally crappy...I am feeling a lot better! I found a stash of some antibiotics...left over from one of my many bouts of mastitis so I don't know if that's why I am feeling better or if "it" has just run "it's" course! I was terrified that Dane would catch whatever I had, so I tried to keep away from him the best I could. He seems fine and I am praying that he doesn't get "it"...what ever "it" was!

Grandma Lynn got Dane a well needed high chair, it was nice to sit him in something that doesn't break your back to feed him in! I thought that we would celebrate his new chair with trying out some peaches for the first time, which he proceeded to spit out after every bite. This is the first thing we have given him that he doesn't seem to like. I am a bit surprised that he didn't like the peaches, especially after we found out that he didn't seem to mind peas and green beans...but Dane is full of surprises!

So I am feeling peachy, the new high chair is peachy, of course my little man is peachy...hmmm, everything is peachy except peaches them selves!

My little block head

Dane was doing his new favorite thing...climbing over his boppy. We had some blocks set up for him to look at, and apparently he thought that they made a nice pillow...because he stayed in that position for quite a while! We thought it was pretty cute and of course had the camera ready! Chad thinks that he was just trying to get in a comfy position to watch Sponge Bob with Katie, maybe so! He finally moved after a while revealing some nice indents on his cheek!

We celebrated Chad's birthday today, nothing to exciting, as our finances are tight. He worked this morning then spent the afternoon watching a DVD. I made his favorite spice cake and mushroom burgers for dinner. He did say that when he blew out his candles that he already got his wish...I am sure that it had something to do with ALL of his kiddos surrounding him on his bday. It was this time last year that I made him a another one of his favorite dinners (chicken fried steak...PaPa Ray style) when I noticed that nothing tasted right to me, I kept saying "this dinner tastes nasty"...only to find out in a couple days that I was prego! Chad's 35th year turned out to be a doozey!

2 weeks of breathing treatments

It has been two weeks since Dane started his breathing treatments, I have a feeling that he should have probably been on them sooner...but that just my Mommy opinion. He is still super loud sleeper, but while he is awake I can tell a big difference in his breathing. He doesn't seem to get so winded during play and isn't requiring quite so much sleep during the day. Not to mention that he looks like a handsome young fighter pilot with his breathing mask! We did get the firm talking to about RSV season from Dane's doc. Dane's lungs have zero reserve so we can't take any chances with him this winter, the doc said that if he got RSV it would put him back in the hospital and could potentially be fatal. Even healthy full term babies have died from RSV, so we are taking it very seriously. On the good side, since we live in AZ we will at least be able to go on walks, have a picnic on a blanket in the park, and of course we can go to Grandma and PapPap's house if they are healthy. Hopefully next winter his lungs will be strong enough that we won't have to be quite so protective...but if not he is definitely worth all the extra steps to keep him healthy!

Live long and prosper!!!

Okay, so Dane is feeling MUCH better from his shots and has also recovered from a night with out air conditioning (our air conditioner fan went out Friday night...it wasn't pretty) and apparently while spending the day at Grandma's house he has picked up the Vulcan (sp?) greeting of "live long and prosper".... Grandma is the only Trekkie in the family so she gets the credit for this picture!

Chad and I totally cracked up when I snapped this shot!!! Our little sci fi geek!

The Explanation

So, I promised that I would explain the title of the blog...here it goes:

Because of Dane's brain bleeds and his birth weight he qualifies for services through the DDD (Division of Developmental Disabilities), this is a state run early intervention program. This is what provides Dane his in home therapies. Qualifying for the DDD has also put me in contact with many other organizations, so I am always getting packets in the mail about programs and resources for kids with disabilities. One day I received a packet from Raising Special Kids, and this is the first thing that I pulled out of the packet...

Welcome to Holland
By Emily Peri Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip--to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed us in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...And you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...in Holland.

I realized that SO many of us end up in Holland, this story inspired me, not only has a Mom to a baby with special needs, but as woman trying to navigate through this life...trusting that God has the ultimate flight plan!

3 shots in the thigh!

I snapped this pic in the doc's office before the shots...how come babies are so stinkin happy before shots!!! Then other one is the result of the shots...a very sleepy wonderfully grouchy boy!

Well, yesterday Dane received his six month shots and he was a trooper...until today! Yesterday he slept most of the day and so far today you can tell that he just isn't feeling too hot (unless I am carrying him around with me, not sitting, CARRYING). He had PT with Miss M. and was very grouchy, so I held him while she worked with stretching him. I have to say how thankful I am that we have such a great physical therapist, she sincerely cares about Dane and I love how excited she gets when he does something new. Even though he wasn't feeling like himself, he managed a few smiles for Miss M!!! What a guy!

His weight as of yesterday was 16lbs 6oz! He is in the 30th percentile for his weight...and that is for is chronological age...not his adjusted age! This is HUGE, most micro preemies won't catch up for at least a year or two!!! He is also right on track developmentally for his adjusted age, he is doing everything that a "normal" 3 month old should is doing, he is even ahead on some things. I can't tell you how proud I am of him, he has had a tough little life and has proven to be such a fighter!

So, I finally did it!

Well, everyone has been bugging me to get this blog up and running...so here we go! At first I thought that now that Dane is home from the hospital, no one would be too interested in anything going on in our humble home. I have realized that if this blog is for no one other than some other Mom of micro preemie looking for hope, then that is the best reason I could have!

So, some of you may be wondering why my page is titled "Life in Holland"?!? Well, if you don't already know...you will have to wait until another day for me to explain that one! I promise it will be worth the wait!

This is the story of how blessed our family is that God chose us to raise Dane. Dane was an unexpected pregnancy...you see my hubby and I have a 16 year old and a 10 year...we thought that our family was complete! I had been praying for God to show me direction in my life, as my kiddos were getting bigger, I thought that it may be time for me to get a "real job"! I can tell you that when we found out I was pregnant, we were in total shock! We immediately recognized it as the answer to my prayer...though not the answer expected! We laughed so hard at the thought of us having another child! The instant we stopped laughing we said if it's a boy we will name him Isaac, because of the story of Abraham and Sarah. Not because this was the child that we had been waiting for, but because one of the meanings for Isaac is laughter. After about 5 months of pregnancy I started feeling pretty lousy, achy, tired...all of these things I attributed to the fact that I was now "an older Mom". Unfortunately I was experiencing some preterm labor signs that I did not recognize. I went to the doctor because I just felt like something wasn't right, I was 26 weeks pregnant...that was the day my life changed. I was dilated to three and was possibly leaking fluid. I was air evacted (against my judgement, I kept seeing dollar signs!) to Good Samaritan where they have one of the best NICU's in the southwest U.S. I lasted 3 days before I went into labor, and on 2-10-07 Dane Isaac was born weighing 2lbs 5oz. We had an unbelievable peace even though he was born so early, Chad and I new that God was in control. My world was ROCKED when on Dane's fourth day of life the doctor sat down and told me that Dane's brain was bleeding. She explained that there were levels of brain bleeds, grades I-IV...grade IV's being the worst. She told us that Dane had a grade IV on the left and II on the right, then went on to tell us that IF he survived he would have severe life long disabilities. He is now 6 months old (3 months adjusted) and this blog is about the wonderful way this miracle child has so richly blessed our lives!