So, I promised that I would explain the title of the blog...here it goes:
Because of Dane's brain bleeds and his birth weight he qualifies for services through the DDD (Division of Developmental Disabilities), this is a state run early intervention program. This is what provides Dane his in home therapies. Qualifying for the DDD has also put me in contact with many other organizations, so I am always getting packets in the mail about programs and resources for kids with disabilities. One day I received a packet from Raising Special Kids, and this is the first thing that I pulled out of the packet...
Welcome to Holland
By Emily Peri Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip--to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed us in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...And you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...in Holland.
I realized that SO many of us end up in Holland, this story inspired me, not only has a Mom to a baby with special needs, but as woman trying to navigate through this life...trusting that God has the ultimate flight plan!
Because of Dane's brain bleeds and his birth weight he qualifies for services through the DDD (Division of Developmental Disabilities), this is a state run early intervention program. This is what provides Dane his in home therapies. Qualifying for the DDD has also put me in contact with many other organizations, so I am always getting packets in the mail about programs and resources for kids with disabilities. One day I received a packet from Raising Special Kids, and this is the first thing that I pulled out of the packet...
Welcome to Holland
By Emily Peri Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip--to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed us in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would have never met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...And you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say, "yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...in Holland.
I realized that SO many of us end up in Holland, this story inspired me, not only has a Mom to a baby with special needs, but as woman trying to navigate through this life...trusting that God has the ultimate flight plan!
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8 comments:
Nicole what a beautiful analogy. Too many of us live in the past, looking back at lost dreams, never realizing that we are missing something now that is greater than that dream ever could have been Thank you for remaindering me to enjoy my Holland, with Rembrandts all around.
Love,
Heather
I'm so excited to see you have joined the blogging world. Lindsay keeps bugging me to start one. Mine would be a novel! It was so great to see you at service. It's a blessing of how many resources are available for parent's who are raising a child with a disability. I hope someday to get back into the field of being an advocate for parents and children. Dane is truly a testament of God's will.
I'd take Holland over Italy any day:)
Dane looks amazing......God is so good!
Hey Nichole, cool blog. I definitely like the Holland analogy. My parent company is from Holland, and it pays me a paycheck so hey, it works for me.
Drew
Wow! Mrs. Nicole! What an inspiring story to run into... just at the right time I would say. You always find a way to put things in perspective. I am so glad that I finally paid a visit to little D's spot! I am enjoying your words of life, love, and sadness and joy. You are truly a blessed woman and I feel blessed to call you a friend! Thanks for inviting me into your world!
I found your blog because mine is called My life in Holland. And as I actually do live in Holland I was curious.
So if you're ever curious about what life in Holland (the country :-)) is like, then check out my blog!
Life in Holland is such a fantastic analogy of life as a preemie mom! I am going to borrow that passage for Josh's blog if you don't mind. It's beautiful!
Hello,
I just wanted to let you know how inspirational this blog is to my wife and I. Our daughter was born a week ago at 27 weeks and has developed grade I & IV IVH, along with PDA. I found this blog the night we found out about the IVH and although haven't read all the posts yet - the ones I have read thus far truly gave me hope. I have created a similar blog for my daughter (www.delaneyb.com) and reference your blog and "Holland" poem. I have also added a link on my daughter Delaney's blog back to your blog - I hope that is okay. We just wanted you to know that your blog has already been a tremendous help to us during this rough time in our lives and has given us hope - thank you!
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